Baby in caring arms

Today my favourite new picture "Baby" I hope you like it . I especially like the body of the child.and still I'm going to continue my musings on personality, happiness and many other topics. In my opinion you are happy if you forget about oneself. I read a script that when you fret about something you think that you have control over your future which is not true. I admire and instintively stick to people who are not concentrated over themselves. Still I feel tense and fret about things which are not in my control but what is important is that my attention is focused on my vices and I'm aware that I posses them.

Woman wth a child

Here you have the citizens of my favourite tribe in Africa the Himba. I mentioned them many times before. I'm fascinated by their nature, by throwing away the civilization with its inventions, sleeping on sheep's skin. Imagine, they in xxi century throw away the whole civilization! Apart from it they beautifully decorate their skin with ohre and animal fat to prevent dewatering among others. I have recently found materials about them. They are simply outstanding.

Today I feel sort of relieved. I prepared a soup for my family. Depression doesn't take me over yet. I want to trust God . This is as simple as that. I want to believe that I'm good at Enlish and I'm gonna be a perfect teacher. That is my hope though I have no basis for it. I still hope that God will help me sooner or later. I don't want to panic but quietly base my future on this hope.

A girl leaning against the wall

I like the naked arm of the girl in the picture. I associate it with her innosence. Unfortuanately in Africa more and more people get infected with AIDS. It is a real plague for Africa nowadays. Though many people think that using condoms should be on the dayily basis, the Pope is against it. He promotes marital faithfullness and abstinence. Many persons find the head of the church outrageous and oldfashioned I agree with him to some extent. The church promotes life and human will, any intrussion into human life is forbiden.

Apart from many illnesses Africa is troubled by tribal wars and still there are many which go on on this continent. What is the conclusion of this post. " You'd better be pleased with what you have". That's it.

In order to push away my distractive thoughts I decided to be more hard working and devote my time to drawing , because I love it. It is as simple as that.

Mother with a child

Today I don't invoke pain in my heart. I feel sort of relieved. The question is why. Maybe because I saw a programm on TV where a simple woman was unusually happy. She said one thing which astounded me."I don't think about the next day. I just enjoy here and now."

After what she said I realised that what bugs me is another day. I don't enjoy my life fully. I just fear what will happen in the future. That expression changed my life thoroully. I feel joy of living maybe for a short while.

One more thing bugs me a lot. I don' t want to be myself. I feel sort of improper. I don't stick to any pattern. Now I want to be myself, enjoy my living, realize my mistakes and move on. Today I feel sort of hope. How changeable my days are.

A woman in a refugee camp

Today I have some problems with the blog and some mechanisms prevent me from inserting a post. I found out that when I reveal some thruths about myself I feel relived. Now I in a situation I see temporarily no way out. Basically I'm out of work now and have no hope for the future. That is why I feel miserable. The ban which prevents me from work is human judgements. It is such a bariere that I feel there is no solution for the situation. It is such a burden .

Here this woman in a refuge camp reveals my despair. Today I feel really weak. Besides I'd like to sell my drawings for a living. And there is no one out there who wants to buy anything from me. So it is a viscious circle.

A black child in a tube

Today I feel sort of confused. That's my state of mind. The reason is that I don't thoroughly believe in myself. I find so many obstacles that I can't seemingly overcome. I feel like redundant trush. I feel powerless. It's a terrible feeling. Actually I have no idea why I evaluate myself in such a way. The answer is that I simply got used to it. This is a habitual mechanism that I can't overcome. Besides I think what people will say about my failures. In this way I make a problem look bigger that it actually is. I forgot to tell you about the whole situation. It's all about giving private lessons to people. I have such a fear that I'll fail and nothing will come out it. Please raise my spirits.
The first step to rise my spirits is the picture of the boy in the tube. It's so joyful that I wonder why I find the activity so depressing. Actually it's smaller than the other drawings. The colours make you feel active and optimistic about life. Besides I have to praise myself for drawing a child properly. That's a big advantage. There are so many things that I can praise myself for. It's hard to enumerate them.
Now I came to the conclusion that there is nothing to punish myself for. And I should take from life everything what it gives me and be more courageous. That's it. There is nothing to be afraid of. Besides if I fail I will know why. Now I'm in sort of vacumm and fear to come out of it. The only person to help me is myself .
I have to tell you that such flow of speach helps a lot to purify my spirits and release tension. Thanks a lot for your attention. Bye untill tomarrow.

A hidden face

The photo I titled a hidden face. The picture is very simple though the outcome is stunning. I especially like the calming shades of the brown colour. I got the idea of drawing it from the mission leaflet. Sometimes I read such publications. As a result you can see that simple shapes and colours can create a kind of climate which is remarkable and outstanding. Thanks to this I often look through the leaflets having an interesting drawing on my mind. This is my aim and sometimes I happen to find something beautiful which can interest you .
Today I saw many sunning and fascinating photos of National Geographic magazine. When you look through it you find out that you are not the hub of the univers and there are people just like you who have different problems which are as importantas yours. When you feel depressed or confused you can see that the earth is so beautiful that your "bugs"are nothing in comparison with the problems of the world. By the way I still hope that there is someone reading my notes. Hello.
One more thing I forgot. I'd like to create a different blog with my thoughts or it's going to be the same . I don't know which one. Where I can create my new world with my thoughts. At least I hope I 'll like it as much as you do.

Suckling baby

Here I want to show you the portrait of the suckling baby. It is sweet and familiar somehow to you. It depicts motherhood in its full bloom. I'd like to praise myself for showing the picture in detail. I didn't omit anything. By means of such pictures you can point at the beauty of Africa as well as any other country. The most intimate beauty . Today I feel sort of detached. I'd like to find a profitable job and don't have the courage to do so. I have such low esteem. Mabe you can help me somehow by looking through my post and posting some your judgement on them. I will be very gratefull for that. I feel downhearted. Thanks for your attention. Bye.

Himba bust

Long time no see I should say. I has been quite a long time since I last created a new post. Many things happened along the way. Many thoughts went through my mind. First, I became fascinated by the Himba tribe in central Africa. Thay are famous for their special way of taking care of oneself. Ohre is a cosmetic they use to make oneself attractive to the other sex. It really works and the outcome is marvellous. Their bodies are smooth and moistured. Himba live in central Africa as I said before. They are not very rich, though they have interesing culture and this is what attracts me a lot to them.

Child in the bathtub

Hello, today my last but not least drawing from the set- the child in the bathtub. Unfortunately it is blurred (probably thanks to the cardboard). I don't feel like criticizing myself all over again. That's why I'll stop here not to 'contaminate" you with my remarks and sorrows. That's it more or less, bye.

Woman in a swimsuit

Today I present to you a picture done in ink and pastel. Luckily I found a photo in a shop leaflet and it attracted my attention straight away. On the basis of this I decided to prepare a drawing. I regret not shading black too much because it would give the feeling of depth. However, I particularly like the background which is like a bit of honey. Maybe somebody may say that my work is of no importance, but I would say that it means a lot to me and it is joy and pleasure. It worries me that I have to devote much work in order to attract viwers to my site on flickr for example (by the way they are particularly in favour of nudes) but that's life and I don't do this for admiration but for self development. That's it more or less. Have a good time. Ela

Woman doing her make up

Today is special because I 've made some contacts with people and it made me feel happy about it. (It's strange because I used to think of myself as a solitaire). As far as my drawing is concerned I'm fascinated by make up and its presence in other cultures. It makes the woman as well as the man more desirable to the members of the opposite sex. I think of creating a set of pictures presenting different types of make up but I have to think it over. Here is a typical woman toying with her make up. Its interesting and in general you can always find something curious about a painting. That's it. Thanks for devoting your time, bye.

Woman in a black hat

This picture is done in black ink and pastel. Though it is decent, it shows a nice gesture which is seductive and it makes you think that the woman is about to undress. In general (as many photographers may admit) there are acts which are seductive and perversive not necessarily showing the nakedness. And I like them most. Here is a posture which is nice. I know it's strange but I can't find words to express what I really feel about this drawing. Maybe next time. Bye

Tear

Sometimes I long for words to express exactly what I want to say. Maybe it because I still crawl in English. This picture I called "tear". It shows the study of face and to me it is beautiful. It's done in ink and pastel. Though it looks like a big one , the picture is actually quite small. That's it more or less. Enjoy looking, Ela.

Woman clad in a peacock feather

Here I present a drawing which is luxurious in a way. The woman is naked and clad in a peacock feather only. Her face is additionally adorned in a beautiful make up. I like it. What do you think?

Beyonce sketch

This drawing is sort of cheesy-like. I don't know why I chose such a person to portray. It was sort of coincidence. My aim was to show the beauty and texture of the material, however it is not as impressive as it is. Maybe the reason is that red is hard to shade. It is striking and that's it more or less. I sometimes wonder why I insert my failure drawings on my blog. And the reason is that you can draw some conclusions from my mistakes. Besides, I strongly dislike criticizing oneself on the blog, for taking wrong photos and other staff. And here I want to praize myself at least for having the pleasure of drawing and aims to do that. There are lots of people who either can't or can't afford this. You who are watching and maybe reading my blog - have a nice time, bye.

"Pariah"

I'd like to start from the description of the drawing. In fact it is done on A3 size of paper, so it's quite small. It depicts a small boy who is doing two things: either he is laughing or drinking water in his palms. I did the drawing from a calendar about children. It reminds me of an Indian child therefore I called it "Pariah". The colours are warm, sunny, suntanned.

Now, about a film which I saw yesterday. I was waiting for it quite a long time. The title is "Paradise Found" and it is about the life of Gauguin. What I like about such films is that they show the figure of the painter himself and their scenery is connected somehow with the artist's paintings (I mean the colours). You can see a good example of it in the film "Frida" produced by S. Hayek who is also starring in it. What captured my attention was that Gauguin was not understood by the people of his epoch. They laughed him off, picking on his 'pink dogs", striking and ripe colours. He was thrown away by his wife who called him "amatour". Only he knew what his aim was. What is curious about Gauguin is that he gave up his prosperous job on the Stock Exchange to follow his vague and blurry impression, something he knew, won't give him any profits (at least in the beginning). What leads him in his journey throughout his lifetime was the words of Pissaro- his friend and one of his teachers: "You have a talent". In the film the person of Pissaro impacts Gauguin a lot and his words sink in my mind. Here are they:

"Whatever you do, never give up",

"If an artist has a vision and struggles to achieve it, he will finally achieve a success."

"The artist changes the universe with his art."

His words bring consolation to those who experience failure too many times, though they keep on trying. After the film I was envigorating. I realized that no matter what people say about you work, it's important to be though, and stubborn in reaching your goal. In reality, if people see a success they will start praising you for what you are doing.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Motherhood"

Hi again. It was quite a long time since I was on my blog. Many thoughts ran through my mind during that time. I didn't stop creating , though I have still no buyers for my "art". Art is a big, huge, I would say, word for the thing I'm doing. Sometimes I ponder I don't deserve this kind of special word. However, it doesn't mean what other people call your art. It's up to you what you call it. All in all, most of artists where unknown as long as they stayed alive. What raises my spirits is what Gauguin said: You have your graver given by your fate and you have to work as hard as you can in order to achieve something. (It's not the exact quotation.) In the case of an artist is his or her works.

I gave a lot of thinking to Gauguin or Van Gogh. Both of them were not professionals but art was their passion, something they couln't live without. They were constantly on the go as long as their art is concerned. They were searching and delving into the topic. They have their own style, unique. Sometimes they created works in a childlike manner, not like classic painters. Recently, I've read a shot introduction to Van Gogh's paintings. What astounded and consolled me was the fact that Vincent didn't reveal any special talents for painting when he attended certain artistic schools. The same is with me, I hardly have any skills while in public, I prefer to deal with art on my own, away from critics and their criticque.

I think that what art is all about is that it lets you be yourself, express yourself, let you be free in a way. It appeals to me strongly. I love freedom.

Today I present a picture, an old one showing motherhood. From some time I'm fascinated by that idea, especially pregnancy.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Nude act"

This a nude act. The interesting thing about it is that it's a view from above. What I want to say is that I like it very much. The colours are soft and pastel like. It's really feminine and sensual. I don't know how I achieved this effect, taking into consideration that colours normally fade away whereas here they stick to the cardboard perfectly. It's nice, ideal for hanging in a sleeping room.

Your remarks I leave to you.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Rest in sun rays"

This picture was done according to a photo , which I found in "Elle". I was surprised , because I always thought that that magazine is about fashion and here I found such a nice photo. What is curious about that work is that originally it was an eyelash advertisment. I omitted them. They are nice and feminine, but in my opinion a figure without eyelashes is more "pure". The title , which I gave to that drawing is : rest in sun rays. I like the idea that the woman is getting rest and looks like it. The picture is peaceful.

Have a nice evening, Ela.