"Despair"

Today I feel sort of confused and disappointed. Something tells me that what I'm doing is wrong. I try to question it. I fight with these thoughts, but will I ever succede? Here the drawing presents my state of mind. Despair it is called. Sometimes I think my drawings are only sketches, preparation for something bigger, more valuble. It's more learning than creating something of importance. My last but not least set is devoted to the body with some exeptions. You can find it out on Flickr.

Let me remind you of the film "Eat, pray, love"where J. Roberts is starring. I remember a scene from the film where the heroine is sitting in an old temple and says to herself: "We are unhappy, because we are afraid to change the state we are in."Certainly it's true. This thought turns my life upside down. It is not peaceful but rebellious. It urges you to do something to realise from your shackles. In the begining you feel strong but then you come back to where you were. That's a trap. Now I'm in doubt. I think over my life and you know what. Either I'm powerless or completly unable to move on. I feel paralised, but this film gives me hope that one day I'll deside one something crazy in a positive sense and finally see that it was so easy to change my life though then I felt rigid, unable of any move. I know that maybe it is sort of boring to you but I've heard that if God closes the door for you , He opens a window. I must look for it necessarily.

Have a nice day, Ela.