Mother with a child

Now is to be continued with Africa. Mother with child. My sister is so much against my African drawings that you can't even imagine but I love them. The brown colour somehow attract me. In general I think that Africa is fascinating as a continent.

I don't know why many people think that it is unattractive and poor continent. In fact, Africa is a source of commodities for the whole world. I'm stunned by the richness and beauty of that country.

My beautiful legs

Today I don't have much to say. I just want to say hello to anyone present on my blog. I came to the conclusion that it is pointless to write anything 'cause it is so toxic that I can't stand. Just simple hello is enough.

Shaped hand

Today I feel sort of confused , because I skipped some days in my thinking and writing posts. I failed thinking in a positive way. I don't know what is the reason of my failure. Maybe it's my weakness in general. The curious thing about it is the fact that my mother consider me a strong person. And I deny everything. It is sad but true.

Some time ago I went to the doctor and she told me that I shouldn't be left alone and travel alone. I became furious. How come? My life is changing and I get stuck in marazm.

What's interesting is the fact that there are so many things to be happy about in my life and I don't perceive them. Maybe once again I should be left in the mental asylum as previously.

When I read Pawlikowska's books I wonder if I also can write and this is my first trial actually. My monster tells me that I don't. Basicly I do everything for myself not for others. My mother recently said: You don't live for others but for God and for yourself. That is interesting and true in an egoistic way

I consider the fact that there is something with my mind. That I can't focus and teach. I don't know how to answer such a question, because this fact is irreversible.

I feel sort of ashamed that I think only about myself not about others. And this is a vicious circle

Such thoughts occupy my mind constantly. Then I get angry with myself because I 'm so toxic. Please help me God. One more thing which bugs me is the fact that my blog is getting more and more toxic. Maybe by writing I will let out of my emotions once and for all. Maybe

My hand3

Today I made a decision to start everything anew.to make everything different. How the world would be beautiful without our terrible thoughts. It's difficult for me to describe what bugs me. But certainly there is something that really is descrutive. What pleases me is the fact that I want to change something and don't come back to the past. What raises my spirit is the fact that I want to change something. This is pleasing. Bye.

My hand2

Mayby it's getting sort of boring but I still going to write about the power of my thouhts and how they inluence me. Their power is immence. They condition my thinking and my acting in the world. Sometimes I'm in suisidal mood and sometimes I'm in full bloom. How important is to believe in oneself and think about oneself in a good way. I discover it everyday and never stop hoping that one day I'll find a way out, though it is hard to believe. Never stop hoping that's my way of thinking right now. I hope you will find a good way of living and thinking.