Cezanne in ful view

This picture is by Cezanne. I admire one thing that I took pains to do many paintings. I did my best. Now they grace my mother's room and I take pleasure watching them. I noticed that I await somebody's admiration and don't feel like it is in me. I sometimes sense that my mind is mute and I particularly like the moments when I devote time to myself and talk to myself with admiration. I sort of adore that moments and need them