Here is my cat. As I promised I introduce real photos into my blog. This one is cute but other photos will be in sepia. Some strange monster tells me it will be a failure but sometimes I wonder what such a person looks like who runs a blog. It doesn't mean that I'm going to insert my own photos but in this way you can realize what my life looks like.
Today I hated myself so much that it almost overwhelmed me. I want to release such feelings because it makes me feel you are my GP. God knows how much I want to detach from such feelings, how much I want to understand and see myself through God's eyes. I experience a thought that makes me feel happy and joyful. It says "you are alive". And that's it more or less. Many times when we feel depressed or down in spirits we don't realize that the energy of life is in us and noone will take it from us. It's so strong and vivid. It makes you feel free from anything apart from yourself. Sometimes when people suffer from depression they want to end with themseves they want to shatter this holy shrine. I don't want to. And I'm on my way to discover how to escape such negative feelings. I hope you feel all right today. There are so many blogs. I hope that I will like my blog. Because what I need is not your attention, your appraisal, your homage but mine to myself. Appreciating myself and noone is necessary then. Sorry to say this. Bye, have a nice time.
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