Cezanne in ful view

This picture is by Cezanne. I admire one thing that I took pains to do many paintings. I did my best. Now they grace my mother's room and I take pleasure watching them. I noticed that I await somebody's admiration and don't feel like it is in me. I sometimes sense that my mind is mute and I particularly like the moments when I devote time to myself and talk to myself with admiration. I sort of adore that moments and need them

The sleeping lady

Today a new post, this time inspired by Lempicka. I like her style , this peculiar art deco style. Sometimes I think that I must have lived in those times. The style of furniture and painting I find very appealing. The work of art is so quiet and peaceful and that is why I have it in my bedroom. It makes you fall asleep.
        I have many thoughts concerning painting and personal happiness. I come to the conclusion that everything what is the most precious for you is you yourself. Nobody can take you away, only harm you in certain cases and it is up to you whether you let him bring you down.
      I practise this thought of telling myself "I love you" and everything that comes to m mind is what am I doing it for? Because your subconsciousness needs results, visible outcomes. Everything what you do is for a purpose. We need a miraculous way to change our life and quick results ,a new job, amusing friends.
      My hobby is painting and it is a way of realising my emotions on the canvas. I don't know where it is going to lead me but I know I must do it. Finally I found a way.

The name of the rose

Today I publish a new painting in oil. This is a rose. I didn't insert any new photos on my blog for a long time but today I feel like doing it. Since then I have done many new paintings and I even did some of them which I considered particularly difficult especially those done by Lempicka. I will publish them next time. I adore roses and other flowers. They are feminine and fragile. To me they are easier to draw than landscapes.
           I've just read Pawlikowska's book about happiness and I practise telling myself all the time "I love you". They say it has got healing properties. I must say I feel better after it. It raises my spirits. 
          Her all life philosophy is based on it and I'd like to make it my philosophy even partly. 
Simply I don't feel good with myself and maybe it's time to move on with my life. Maybe it is the right thing

My world changing views

Above is my abstaction based on O'Keeffe's painting. It is not a repetition of what she has done but my interpretation. In secret I will tell you that this picture was sold and I lived on the money for some time.

As I 've already told I deal with art but not professionally. Thanks to it I have some musings which to me are interesting and I 'd like to share my thoughts with you. Yesterday I watched a programme on tv about Degas' s nude acts. I looked through his works. They were nice but what strikes me is that they were not perfect even some of them were unfinished.

I came to the conclusion that art is not about perfection, because even  human nature is not perfect. Everything what is important is looking for your way of expression which is imperfect and sometimes scruffy.
But it is yours. Sometimes you find the demand for your art ,sometimes not.

This imperfectness is cute to me and I associate it with holliness where people though sinful become saints. The same is with art. It is all about taste and luck.

Cezanne's still life

Here is one of Cezanne's paintings. I don't know the name of it, but there must be something with "still life" in it. Somehow I started to have a crunch on him. Many people don't favour his art but I adore it , especially his appels which are characteristic.

Some time ago I started using canvas in my art. It is not cheap but the outcome is magnicient. Apart from this you can hang it on the wall. I 've just finished painting a more complex still life by Cezanne on the canvas. The result is stunning and I hope to present it in some time

I often admire those classical painters like Rubens and Rembrant and deep in my heart I feel that I cannot contest with them. But when such thoughts haunt me I recall Van Gogh who didn't paint like those perfect painters. He called himself a colorist which is true, because he used a spectrum of colours .He simply poured out his soul in his paintings and devoted all his will power to it.

.Can you imagine 2000 paintings during 7 years or so. That's incredible. I often think how misunderstood he felt, how he dreamt of fame and fortune and his words" One day my paintings will excede the price of money which I gave for paints and paint brushes." Some people think that he was a dreamer , but I brood over it thinking that this wisecrack was prophetic.

Still life by P. Ceazanne

Recently I've noticed that I have interesting musings on art. It is maybe because I deal with it a lot. It is my part of life although it is not my profession.

To me art is the freedom of expression no matter who you are. If you are a railwayman or a preacher like Van Gogh was or you do any other job. It would be wrong to call art a branch of science 'cause it deals with emotions. It is certainly not a science. You cannot examine it. All you can do is to judge whether you like it or not.

I know some people who don't recall the names of their favourite painters but only remember their masterpieces and the feelings that accompanied them. I paint and I draw mainly because I realise my feelings on the canvas. I can observe the touch of the paint brush and enjoy the outcome. What is more and I want to emphasize it here is that everyone can have his input in art. It doesn't matter if you are skillful at painting or you paint childishly. You enrich art with your own input and the richness of your expression, the richness of your personality.

I heard at my painting course that Picasso actually destroyed art with his kitch. I don't know what is your opinion on this but I think that he enriched art with his cubism and mayhem. His art was actually who he was. He had the right to express himself and have his audience of admirers. Personally , I admire his art but it is something personal and you can have a different opinion. So all in all , what I want to empasize and it is my opinion only that the beauty of art lies in everyone's expression. Nobody impoverishes art as such. Everyone has got his only input which is extraordinary.

Life learning

Today I want to make my way towards a new life. As usual I follow Pawlikowska's teachings and keep practising but I withdraw too quickly. What I mean by this is reapiting mantras in my mind as long as they prove to be successful. For example I reapeat the saying I'm loved I feel secure. I don't know if I endure this trial but I feel that I do something for myself, something to change my life. As a rule I lived in constant fear and I felt it was normal. Now I know it is pointless and useless. I wish I could believe in these mantras. My subconciousness is so stubborn.

Now I started having holidays. The weather is nice, but I leave in fear of what will happen in the future. I still paint. This painting is in oil. It depicts a rose. In general, it was one of the first successful flowers of mine. Thanks to that course I'm better at painting. I even managed to do Lempicka's painting and it proved to be good.

Wood ready to move

Today one of my photos taken at the forest. Nice, isn't it. Today I don't have much to say as usual. I think that my blog is a little bit boring that's why I insert pictures of trees cut down in the forest.
It is appealing and I like pictures which show something zoomed. This is one example of it. Have a nice day!

Admirable woman

Today I'm writing in a hurry, actually I don't know why. Maybe I consider myself a writing looser. I had always problems with this . Above is my drawing in pastel. Now I consider it a failure, because there is something wrong with the proportions. However, drawing the human body is my hobby. I don't know if I ever master this skill, but I hope to. 

Still, I attend painting classes and they give me a lot of satisfaction. I didn't give up on them. In a few days' time I'm going to insert some new paintings. In my opinion I get better each day. It is my passion and I started painting on canvas so it is something new. I find more tricky nonetheless. Now my paintings can be hanged on the wall. In general I develop quickly and it lifts my mood, because somehow I couldn't imagine myself progressing.

Georgia O'keefe painting.

This picture is based on Georgia O'keefe painting . I don't remember exactly what is the title. It has something to do with lake. I adore her paintings and her pride of being a woman and a painter. This is something very rare. Artists are in general sad because they don't earn enough money. What's so funny about it is that I also want to join their ranks. Today I'm going to my painting classes. They give me some practise but I also do some work at home. This one above is my home work.

Today it is a long time that I haven't written. Certainly I won't be a proffessional writer because my writing is not fluent however I want to be a proffesional artist. That is my aim and I long for it with all my heart.Above this is a picture which I did with my deseased friend and it is put on display. The lightning is not that good but it is one of my best paintings. It is oil on board. I wonder if you know that it is done with my fingertips.  I turned down that technique because of my health because red posseses some toxic substances. The topic of that picture is "On the Amalfi coast" and comes from Italy. I love that country and one of my dreams is to depict Tuscany and maybe to live there in my private home. Who knows what the future brings.

In general I don't like writing very much because of my internal qritique. It is a hard worker. Besides I have not much to say. I need to do some shopping because I haven't much in the fridge. I feel dissappointed because I set myself very high bars and it is hard for me to overcome them. I imagined myself as someone perfect. I suffer because I wanted to be a good cook and I'm not one. I don't know why. Next time I want to prepare a given text because it is hard for me to start everything from scratch.

Magnolias in bloom

This is one of my pictures painted with fingertips. It's nice. The blue hue also add some mystic atmosphere to it. According to my teacher this could be a good present for a birthday. I regret one thing. There should be some kind of depth in this picture. I'm a beginner and it is hard for me to achieve it. If you want to buy it , let me know.

My picture in oil painted with my fingertips

This photo is in oil painted with my fingertips. This method was taught by my dead friend. God bless her. I like it very much mainly because the colours are natural. I'm grateful that nothing happened to my skin 'cause it was painted with my fingers.

 At the end of the month there is going to be an exhibition and this is my first time to take part in it. I prepared 3 pictures. One of them is a homage paid to my dead frind. I hope she rests in peace. Next time I'm going to present my next 2 pictures which will be on display( with the one included). I'm happy about it very much. So see you next time.

A new post at last

Hello, we haven't seen each other for years. Today I have a new photo on my blog. It is a nice one. It depicts the woman resting at the pool. I like it because it is so warm and sunny. This photo is in pastel but I still do many paintings in oil. I start to love it. It is a kind of therapy for my brain. It is like a sedative for it. Today we have got Easter Monaday. I give private lessons all the time. I can't tell that I like it but I keep on learning and the kids are so intelligent. My mother is far away from here somewhere in Holland keeping my sister's spirits up. We will see each other in 2 weeks time.

I paint and I improve my skills considerably. I have to insert new pictures on my computer because they are not yet here. Many things changed . We have got a new pope Francis a nice man I can tell. I still remember my mother's words " I told you everything already". This  words are valuable. They signify that I have to incorporate her teachings into my life. That's tough. What I find appealing is the techings of Pawlikowska who says start liking yourself just the way you are and I try to do but it's tough. I would like to know English and I can't though.  One thing is for sure that I know more than my disciples.(That sounds biblical).

Every time I try to write something it sounds pointless. Maybe that's my internal critique. Now I'm going to be alone for 2 weeks thats a lot of time. I'd like to cook something delicious for me. I miss good cooking. Something warm and nutricious. That's my dream. I think I have a hard task.

Have nice day, Ela.

New Year 2013

I have some problems with flickr. I cannot incorporate more  pictures. Simply I have to wait. Now I have winter holidays and there is a break from work. I got used to laziness and currently I'm looking for new materials for my work. I don't want to write more . I don't feel like it.