"Grand moth"

Hi again! Today I'm gonna scare you with another moth, though it's not as impressive as the previous one. Just an ordinary moth. You see that such scary animals can be also admirable. It depends on your point of view and taste.

People can be depicted by means of animals. Some of them are sleepy and lazy like cats, some talkative like parrots and you-what animal are you? My personality is a selection of animals. Sometimes I can be even like a little piggy. Funny, isn't it?

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"A speckled butterfly"

Today a new , speckled butterfly. Though it's simple, it looks like it was about to raise from the ground. This effect is achieved by the specific lines of colour on his wings. Thus, it looks more dynamic. Though, the background is sort of boring, it helps focus on the butterfly itself.

Today is Friday. To my surprise, it's snowing, although it's not winter yet. Christmas is already on my mind. My window looks out on a church spire with a big, silver cross. It reminds me of "Memento mori".

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"A green butterfly"

Green is the colour of hope that's why I chose a black-green butterfly. I hope for a better future. I like the differntiated background depicting flowers. Today I had a hard day, but life is hard-so they say. I hope you like the butterfly. There are more of them to be shown on display.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Blue butterfly"

Today a new butterfly. I'm amazed by its ultramarine and sky blue colours. The intersting fact is that this insect is so big. Maybe the photo is to blame. Drawing butterflies is a lot of fun, because they demand only a stroke of pastel, nothing more, no shadowing for example. That's incredible how each animal species is different, unique. It applies to human beings where everyone is special. He's like a butterfly with his unique set of colours. It's no use comparing oneself to others, because everyone is like a unique, tropical butterfly.

I'll tell you something. All my life I was thinking that grey is something I should avoid. Some time ago I read an aricle about a woman Marta Gessler- you can even see her portrait on my blog-this is the woman in a blue blouse. She adores grey and runs a restaurant where there are grey, raw walls. Her house has no wallpaper and thus it's also grey.

What I want to convey to you is the fact that what you think is wrong with you, cannot necessarily be so. It depends on your point of view. I'm obviously not talking about your horrendous drawbacks which need changing.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Great moth"

Are you afraid of moths? I am. Especially when they bump against a window pane at dusk. I detest them and somehow cannot overcome my fear. However, I'm not afraid of butterflies. I find them soft and timid. They say that in the Amazon jungle great moths live. I cannot imagine their size, but it must be terrifying and disgusting. Here you have a great moth-unusual, embellished in beautiful colours. Such moths are worth admiring, aren't they? Such an insect is a work of art. In general, nature is a masterpiece, something amazing, so detailed. It's hard to believe that it was created out of nowhere like a big bang.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"A speckled butterfly"

Today is rainy and cloudy, though I'm gonna cheer you up with my next butterfly. The speckled one is sitting on a yellow flower. I'm amazed that this picture has the most views on Flickr. That's strange. What I don't like in this picture and didn't manage to fix is the fact that the petals are in one colour, not a melange of colours. It would make the drawing more differentiated. Actually, the drawings of butterflies were done according to a calendar. I like their colours, but what I don't accept is that they look like child's drawings- in fact some people like such art.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Peacock eye"

Today is Sunday. The weather was sunny with scattered clouds in the sky. Here you see my next butterfly- a "peacock's eye"- at least they call it so in Polish. It's a very typical butterfly, sitting on smelly liliac flowers. The butterfly is ordinary, but at the same time beautiful.

I've just said before that I'm a closed person. True. But I thought over the idea of suffering 'cause I felt such remorse, pain and grief to God that I stayed in pain for so many years. Why he did it to me?! And the answer came in a second that the glass of suffering is not the same for everyone. Pain is something relative. It makes me feel the way other people feel. Thus , I can understand them. It's just how it works, as simple as that. When you don't suffer, you are not able to feel the way somebody in pain feels. It teaches you empathy.

Have a nice night, Ela.

"2 butterflies"

Hi, what a day is today. I prepared another butterfly from the collection, actually butterflies. There are 2 of them. They look as if they were just about to raise from the ground. I think that the background and their colours reflect their light, effortless nature. I thought over the idea wheather insert any thoughts by Pawlikowska or P. Coelho or not. I came to the conclusion that it's not in my nature. It's not the way I feel 'cause I'm rather a closed person and not eager to share my experiences with the audience(apart from drawings and my reflections on them). That's why don't expect from me any internal musings. Everything I have to offer is my art. This is what I like most and enjoy doing. In the end my art will last. That is my testimony.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Another butterfly"

Today a new butterfly. This time an orange one in the green background. This drawing looks like one from the 60-ties when sharp colours were in vogue. I think that my drawings, especially this one, reflect that I'm not quite normal. In fact, it's hard to evaluate art. It's an area where everything is relative. Some people like Nikifor, some like Picasso and so on. My favourite artist is van Gogh. He looked for his unique way of expression. He could even paint 2 suns in the sky. I try to step in his shoes and here we have an eyecatching background which was invented by me. I have another 9 butterflies to display on show, so be patient.

Have a nice day, Ela.

New portion of drawings

Hi, welcome to my blog. Today a new portion of drawings. This time , depicting butterflies. They were not so hard to draw, just a few strokes of pastel. I regret the fact that their nature is not shown properly. I mean, they are not as delicate as they are in real life but nobody is perfect.

I'd like to start with the orange butterfly. I like the colour very much. In general, orange is the colour of life. It's so vivid and delightful. Not only butterflies but nature in general is so various, different. That's it. Have a nice watching.

To end it all, I'd like to add a golden thought by P. Coelho:"The glass of suffering is not the same for everyone."

"The spring of the Amazon"

Hi, I had a break and didn't run my blog continuously. That's why I try to stick to the timetable and insert a few words each day. Thanks to Pawlikowska I'm able to write about wise things, about life. In general, she helps me understand the mechanism of life, why something happens, what to change in me and how to treat myself. You know , I sometimes wonder why I make a certain choice i.e: a job, a man, etc. In my case, I regret taking part in a course for caretakers of elderly people. First of all, it was a waste of time and besides, when I started practising as a caretaker I decided that it's definetly not for me. That job is so intimate, you look at old naked bodies, wash them, feed them. The elderly throw tantrums , forget about many things and are so sensitive about themselves. It's taugh. I asked often what I did it for. Why I chose such a course and the answer was in Pawlikowska's book. She says that we make choices in life. They are not necessarily good once, but we learn from our mistakes and by making choices we discover what our passion is. It's like with the Amazon river. It was not a wide river from the start but a small spring. It applies to life. We start from small things and move on to greater ones- from small, meaningless jobs to important job posts i.e: as a boss. That's life. Pawlikowska's philosophy helped me realize that taking care of elderly people is not for me and I don't find it appealling. I discovered that truth by taking a chance.
Today a new pice of wisdom by P. Coelho:"The joy of work opens the door to heaven for us, love changes us and proper choices lead us to God."
Have a nice night, bye.

"Zahir"

Today a short post from me. It's from P. Coelho's "Zahir":
"The warrior of light never forgets to show gratitude. In his fight he was supported by angels, godly powers maintained order, letting him to fulfill his task as best as he could. That's why when the sun sets down, the warrior kneels down and thanks the Carring Attire, which saves him. His companions will say: He was lucky. However, he knows, that happiness is an ability of searching for friends around, which don't believe in death and can live as if each new day was the last one in their rambles."
It's getting late, that's why I don't want to think anything over. Good night.

"Zanzibar"

This day is sort of unique, 'cause I bought a book and managed to read it over. Which is a success. It was about Zanzibar and I found out many facts which have been unknown to me before. First of all, to let you know, Zanzibar is an island situated at the east coast of Africa, right in the middle. It's tropical and known for the production of spices, the exchange of slaves and ivory. Many interesting stories are described in the book. What I found most interesting are facts about spices i.e: that curry is a spice consisting of many substances, curcuma is a root which is dried and is good for digestion. The other facts I failed to translate properly. At the end of the book I found interesting words by Pawlikowska :" I always choose positive thinking. I don't think what I lack but I find joy in what I have and perceive that I have a lot. This is the secret of happiness." It so hard to see what we really have, because we compare ourselves to others. We finally realize what we have when we loose it.
Today a new thought by P. Coelho:"The best way of immersing in God is Love."
Have a good day, Ela.

"I need strenght."

Hi. Today is a grey weather, 'cause it autumn time. Though, it doesn't impact my mood. Now, it's going to be a short post. I still want to focus on Pawlikowska's philosophy and repeat to myself: I have to be strong! I need to be strong! In this way I want to overcome difficulties and weaknesses, which I've got a lot. They are just words, but how powerful. In fact, you think in words and everything depends on what you think. And when black thoughts are on my mind, I have to repeat to myself: Don't think about it! Just don't! Those black thoughts often concern my looks. It's a burden to me. Somehow, I often think that if I were more good-looking, my life would be more happy- which is misleading. Who's gonna quarantee it for me?
Today, a new piece of thought by P. Coelho: " It sometimes happens that happiness is a gift, but many times you should fight for it. The magic moment of the day helps us change ourselves and order us to discover our dreams."

"Great Sunday"

Today is a lazy Sunday. I've already been to church and feel as holy as I've never been before. What is holiness? What does it mean to be holy? Is it important to be holy in the face of the Church? Maybe it is more important to be honest towards oneself. I don't give a damn what other people say, because their opinion is changeable. It's more important what I think about myself, about my way of acting. Am I just, truthful, faithful, keep a promise given to myself? Do I accept the way I am? Some time ago, I heard a statement that if you don't love yourself , you don't love God, because God is in you. It doesn't mean that you become as powerful as God, but you are a living creature and deserve love. The purest kind of love can be given only to you and by you. It's as simple as that, but how hard to fulfill. Each day , I find so many drawbacks and cry over myself as hell, though I know it's pointless. I got used to whipping myself. It's an addiction. I'm trying to find who is to blame for such a situation. Maybe it was my parents who condemned and punished me a lot. Though, they did what they could to provide what I needed most. Man makes mistakes. In fact , I can change it. And as Pawlikowska says: if I find strenght in myself, that strenght will multiply and I'll find more power to move on.
It is a short post but how illuminating.
Today a new thought by P. Coelho:"We are not alone. The world is changing along with us. Angels lead and protect us."
Have a nice day, Ela.

"Hello again"

Hello today. I have to tell you that I have a special day today, because I got a magazine: "Traveller" about journeys. It doesn't mean that I'm going to reach any destination, but I want some enlightment. In fact, I realized that my knowledge about the world is like a big void. It's scary but true. My favourite country is Italy. I'm interested in its culture. It attracts me a lot. I've been to Italy twice and I'm fascinated by that country , especially by its cuisine. It's so unbelievable how that world is small and great at the same time.
Pawlikowsa is also fascinated by the world. She is a tirelles traveller. It was not always so. She went through many ordeals. She suffered from bulimia, anorexia. She was on the verge of alcohoism. The time has come when she realized that she is somebody special, unique, that she should follow her dreams. Her biggest dream was travelling. She did everything to fulfill it. In particular, Pawlikowska wanted to go to the Amazon jungle. It was her destination.
According to her you should have your own dream and try to fulfill it, because it would make sense in your life. Pawlikowska says that everything in your life comes on time. Everything has its own time. You cannot make something happen faster. You need special events and thoughts that would make something possible. In Pawlikowska's case the situation was the same. She worked and waited patiently to fulfill her travelling dreams. She saved money, many times denying tasty proucts from her menu. Are you ready for such a devotion? I'm not.
You know what. I'll tell you that having a blog is a stunning idea, because it enables me to open towards others. Maybe by sharing my knowledge with you , I'll help you in a way. What do you think?
Today a new thought by P. Coelho: "We are going through the world following our dreams and ideals. Many times, something what is unreachable, is close at hand."

" Pawlikowska's teaching"

Hello again! Times goes by and in a month's time there will be Christmas. Do you have any presents for your relatives? I don't. Not yet. Today, I want to speak my mind and say a few things about Pawlikowska. Her words are a turning point to me. It's striking that she has an impact on me. I start thinking about many things, about myself, about many mistakes. You are blind as long as you meet somebody who is wise enough to teach you. Pawlikowska is such a person to me. I realize that in fact, I don't think at all in my life, at least I sometimes think that I don't think the way she does. I'm so much influenced by pop culture, by models on the cover of magazines, by superficial beauty. I don't see what is true and what is not.
I'd like to quote Pawlikowska's words: "A man who regains self-trust, starts trusting other peole. When he gets rid of the fear of being hurt, he will learn how to show and get friendship. Then tormenting loneliness and pain will disappear." I must say that I sometimes think that I'm such a failure. I lost trust to myself, because I experienced disappointment so many times. However, the point is that I should look at my failures from a different perspective, because we shouldn't demand from life to be perfect, that we don't encounter any trouble. Nobody can assure us that everything is going to be all right. It's so hard to trust myself and it's true that I'm afraid of being with other people. Really, I don't feel like openening towards others. I feel such a blocade. Pawlikowska is such a brain washing to me, because in many aspects she is right.
Today, a piece of wisdom by P. Coelho:"Good and Evil have the same face. Everything depends on when they stand on our way of life."
Have a nice day, Ela.

" A rainy day"

I promised myself to insert a new post each day, though it's without a drawing. Today it's raining cats and dogs and the weather is gloomy. However, I feel nice. I'm just wondering what to write today. I'm constantly thinking over Pawlikowska's philosophy. I'm aware of the fact that I would infringe her copywrites if I quoted exactly what she said. That's why I'll try to provide her knowledge in my own words. I must say that her words are a turning point to me.
Pawlikowska says that if you hate yourself, you think that you have control over your life. It's misleading. First of all, because that feeling destroys you from inside and besides, other people feel unconciously your hatred and turn their backs on you. Love yourself, because in real life only you are the most faithful friend towards yourself. When you reject yourself, your soul is lost, forsaken, unloved. You should accept your soul without comparing to others, because you are unique. There is nobody in the world like you. Only you can also understand yourself best.
I'm trying to stick to Pawlikowska's rules and accept myself the way I am, but it's so hard to me. It's complicated, because I was rejected many times by other people. If they push me away, I think that I deserve it. That it is my fault, that something is wrong with me. I long so much for their acceptance that I forget about my acceptance to myself.
Following Pawlikowska's advice I try to talk to myself in my mind. It helps because I realize my deepest feelings. I'm sometimes ashamed of them. It's unbelievable how complicated a personality can be.
Today, a new piece of wisdom by P. Coelho:" History will change its course if we start using the power of love as well as we use the power of wind, oceans, atom."
Have a nice day, Ela.

"The warrior of light"

Today again an empty post. I came to the conclusion that it could be better to add a photo if there is lack of drawings. However, I don't have a digital camera, so it would be a little bit tricky otherwise. Yesterday, I did something good. I don't know how to start. First of all, I started attending "artistic classes" - there I learn different techniques in art. In that way I'm able to make an angel, a cat, a drawing done with a string and lots of other things. And it was exactly yesterday when I had a chat with my teacher. She told me about her difficulties with English. She is so motivated to learn it, but her efforts are in vain. I'll tell you what. I know what she feels 'cause I feel the same. Language is a curious phenomenon. You cannot acquire it without an effort. I thought it over and found out that learning a language should be enjoyable. It should be fun, effortless, introduced in a play, song , poem. This is my view. Yours can be different. I think that in that conversation I helped her a lot.
Now , I'll move on to Pawlikowska. I'm reading her book "In the jungle of uncertainity" and something struck me. The book is based on her emails to a girl- Marta. What I found out and want to share it with you. (Maybe in this way I'll help you.) This goes as follows: even if you think that you are ugly, rejected, in pain that is not important. The point is that your soul is more important than you think. Appearance is something that is irrelevant and superficial , 'cause everyone is beautiful in a way. What I mean that by helping others , by opening towards others, changing your environment you'll be filled with the feeling of love, of being needed. This is the most striking thing I've ever heard. The point is that I often feel ugly, strange, feel that I don't belong here. That motto opened my eyes. How wise it is, isn't it? What do you think, share your opinion with me.
Now a golden thought by P. Coelho, because I know that it is sometimes beneficial to ponder a wise motto like words from the Holy Bible.
"We are the warriors of light. We can change our and others' fate with the power of will and love."
Have a nice day, Ela.

"What a day!"

Today, another post without a drawing. It's hard to say, but they are not so eyecatching without it. However, I'm still working on butterflies but much time left in order to finish them all 'cause there are as many as 12 photos. You know what, I'm dreaming of having a digital camera in order to take photos. On the basis of them I'm going to prepare pictures. One advantage of it is that I can insert photos on the computer without going to a photographer. Actually, it's my new dream.
Now about Pawlikowska, she writes about loving oneself. I must say that it's so difficult for me to be loving towards myself. I'm still working on it. Pawlikowska writes that only your love can fill the emptiness and solitude in your heart. You are lonely, because you don't love yourself. Because you think that other people decide wheater you deserve respect and love. And you are the one who can respect, love and develop yourself without comparing yourself to others. In fact, a man is a collection of many features, which are unique and you see only one of them i.e: beauty, a talent. Instead of comparing and crying over yourself, you can set yourself a goal and fulfill it without looking back at others.
When I think of it, it's enough to introduce all of it to your life. Practice makes perfect, so they say. But I try to see my advantages , because everyone has them. Each day is different and so I am. Have a try!
Today a new thought by P. Coelho: "If in a Good Fight you cannot count on your friends' support, your strenght can become loneliness."
Have a nice day, Ela.

"Hakuna matata"

To your surprise, a post is now without a drawing. However, I'm still working on butterflies. I hope to be ready to exhibit them more or less in a month's time. I'm fascinated with butterflies, especially those in pictures. In particular, I'm fond of butterflies migrating to Canada. They have orange wings and are really stunning. When I think of these animals, the National Geographic magazine crosses my mind. There, you can find inspiring pictures.
When Pawlikowska publishes a book, she always promotes the National Geographic magazine, because she writes for it. She doesn't write about travel only. She is wise and she shares her experience with others. Recently, I've grasped her interesting motto:" If you don't like something in yourself, wait untill that drawback becomes an advantage. Interesting stuff, isn't it? Sometimes, there are features you are not able to change. What do you have to do in such a situation? Well, you have to be more humble towards life.
Now, something funny also from Pawlikowska's book:"Blondynka na safari". I suppose you probably know the expression: "Hakuna matata!" which means no problem, don't worry in Suahili. There is a snag here. You have to memorize that phrase correctly, because when you change the last letter, you'll have: "Hakuna matiti", which means : She has no tits and "Hakuna matako", which means: She has no bum. So, be watchful.
Have a nice day, Ela.