" A rainy day"

I promised myself to insert a new post each day, though it's without a drawing. Today it's raining cats and dogs and the weather is gloomy. However, I feel nice. I'm just wondering what to write today. I'm constantly thinking over Pawlikowska's philosophy. I'm aware of the fact that I would infringe her copywrites if I quoted exactly what she said. That's why I'll try to provide her knowledge in my own words. I must say that her words are a turning point to me.
Pawlikowska says that if you hate yourself, you think that you have control over your life. It's misleading. First of all, because that feeling destroys you from inside and besides, other people feel unconciously your hatred and turn their backs on you. Love yourself, because in real life only you are the most faithful friend towards yourself. When you reject yourself, your soul is lost, forsaken, unloved. You should accept your soul without comparing to others, because you are unique. There is nobody in the world like you. Only you can also understand yourself best.
I'm trying to stick to Pawlikowska's rules and accept myself the way I am, but it's so hard to me. It's complicated, because I was rejected many times by other people. If they push me away, I think that I deserve it. That it is my fault, that something is wrong with me. I long so much for their acceptance that I forget about my acceptance to myself.
Following Pawlikowska's advice I try to talk to myself in my mind. It helps because I realize my deepest feelings. I'm sometimes ashamed of them. It's unbelievable how complicated a personality can be.
Today, a new piece of wisdom by P. Coelho:" History will change its course if we start using the power of love as well as we use the power of wind, oceans, atom."
Have a nice day, Ela.