"Great Sunday"

Today is a lazy Sunday. I've already been to church and feel as holy as I've never been before. What is holiness? What does it mean to be holy? Is it important to be holy in the face of the Church? Maybe it is more important to be honest towards oneself. I don't give a damn what other people say, because their opinion is changeable. It's more important what I think about myself, about my way of acting. Am I just, truthful, faithful, keep a promise given to myself? Do I accept the way I am? Some time ago, I heard a statement that if you don't love yourself , you don't love God, because God is in you. It doesn't mean that you become as powerful as God, but you are a living creature and deserve love. The purest kind of love can be given only to you and by you. It's as simple as that, but how hard to fulfill. Each day , I find so many drawbacks and cry over myself as hell, though I know it's pointless. I got used to whipping myself. It's an addiction. I'm trying to find who is to blame for such a situation. Maybe it was my parents who condemned and punished me a lot. Though, they did what they could to provide what I needed most. Man makes mistakes. In fact , I can change it. And as Pawlikowska says: if I find strenght in myself, that strenght will multiply and I'll find more power to move on.
It is a short post but how illuminating.
Today a new thought by P. Coelho:"We are not alone. The world is changing along with us. Angels lead and protect us."
Have a nice day, Ela.