My hand

Hi, today my new post is about optimism and everything connected with it. I'm already mature and think that if you want to be sane you should be optimistic. I found a new method. Every my problem give out to the highest mind or you may call it God. He knows better what to do with my life and how to change it for the better. Thanks to it I feel better. I know there is somebody high above me who knows me best and knows how to solve my problems. I trust him and believe him thorouhly.

I wish you the same and I'm aware that he pampers me a lot with his graces. I wish you the same. Good luck.

Here you can see myself in a mirror. I don't feel like showing myself. Maybe this is what bugs me. Maybe I should think of making a sort of theraphy for myself by shooting myself photos. first I started with my leg and hands photos.

Today I feel allright, full of positive energy. I came to the conclusion that my monster tormented me for such a long time. Seemingly I wanted to wipe myself from the surface of the earth. It's so sick I know of that , but I'm a doctor as well as a tormentor of myself. And only I can raise my spirits. I don't want to do that any more. simply I can't. There are so many things within me that I want to erase, even the good ones. It's terrible and illuminating at the same time because I know what are they. All I want to repeat is "be brave" and only this appeals to me. How easy is to humiliate oneself and how difficult is to accept oneself and have hope that something will change in the future.

Today threre won't be probably any post. I'd like only to share with you with my musings. I made a decision to give private lessons. It made me feel so relieved that it's impossible to describe. I felt as if I said yes to life and to everything which is connected with it. The conclusion is the following: Don't turn your back on all your problems because soooner or later they will get you.

My English is my biggest problem and I lived with it almost 8 years, talking to myself that I'm hopless. Now it's time to raise my head and move on towards life. that's it more or less. I simply want to live without any burden on my back. Have a nice day.

My almighty hand

Today as i proised a photo of my hand. Unfortunately I have some problems with the blog that's I'll keep it short.

Woman wth a child

Here you have the citizens of my favourite tribe in Africa the Himba. I mentioned them many times before. I'm fascinated by their nature, by throwing away the civilization with its inventions, sleeping on sheep's skin. Imagine, they in xxi century throw away the whole civilization! Apart from it they beautifully decorate their skin with ohre and animal fat to prevent dewatering among others. I have recently found materials about them. They are simply outstanding.

Today I feel sort of relieved. I prepared a soup for my family. Depression doesn't take me over yet. I want to trust God . This is as simple as that. I want to believe that I'm good at Enlish and I'm gonna be a perfect teacher. That is my hope though I have no basis for it. I still hope that God will help me sooner or later. I don't want to panic but quietly base my future on this hope.

A girl leaning against the wall

I like the naked arm of the girl in the picture. I associate it with her innosence. Unfortuanately in Africa more and more people get infected with AIDS. It is a real plague for Africa nowadays. Though many people think that using condoms should be on the dayily basis, the Pope is against it. He promotes marital faithfullness and abstinence. Many persons find the head of the church outrageous and oldfashioned I agree with him to some extent. The church promotes life and human will, any intrussion into human life is forbiden.

Apart from many illnesses Africa is troubled by tribal wars and still there are many which go on on this continent. What is the conclusion of this post. " You'd better be pleased with what you have". That's it.

In order to push away my distractive thoughts I decided to be more hard working and devote my time to drawing , because I love it. It is as simple as that.

Mother with a child

Today I don't invoke pain in my heart. I feel sort of relieved. The question is why. Maybe because I saw a programm on TV where a simple woman was unusually happy. She said one thing which astounded me."I don't think about the next day. I just enjoy here and now."

After what she said I realised that what bugs me is another day. I don't enjoy my life fully. I just fear what will happen in the future. That expression changed my life thoroully. I feel joy of living maybe for a short while.

One more thing bugs me a lot. I don' t want to be myself. I feel sort of improper. I don't stick to any pattern. Now I want to be myself, enjoy my living, realize my mistakes and move on. Today I feel sort of hope. How changeable my days are.

A woman in a refugee camp

Today I have some problems with the blog and some mechanisms prevent me from inserting a post. I found out that when I reveal some thruths about myself I feel relived. Now I in a situation I see temporarily no way out. Basically I'm out of work now and have no hope for the future. That is why I feel miserable. The ban which prevents me from work is human judgements. It is such a bariere that I feel there is no solution for the situation. It is such a burden .

Here this woman in a refuge camp reveals my despair. Today I feel really weak. Besides I'd like to sell my drawings for a living. And there is no one out there who wants to buy anything from me. So it is a viscious circle.

My cat

Here is my cat. As I promised I introduce real photos into my blog. This one is cute but other photos will be in sepia. Some strange monster tells me it will be a failure but sometimes I wonder what such a person looks like who runs a blog. It doesn't mean that I'm going to insert my own photos but in this way you can realize what my life looks like.

Today I hated myself so much that it almost overwhelmed me. I want to release such feelings because it makes me feel you are my GP. God knows how much I want to detach from such feelings, how much I want to understand and see myself through God's eyes. I experience a thought that makes me feel happy and joyful. It says "you are alive". And that's it more or less. Many times when we feel depressed or down in spirits we don't realize that the energy of life is in us and noone will take it from us. It's so strong and vivid. It makes you feel free from anything apart from yourself. Sometimes when people suffer from depression they want to end with themseves they want to shatter this holy shrine. I don't want to. And I'm on my way to discover how to escape such negative feelings. I hope you feel all right today. There are so many blogs. I hope that I will like my blog. Because what I need is not your attention, your appraisal, your homage but mine to myself. Appreciating myself and noone is necessary then. Sorry to say this. Bye, have a nice time.

A black child in a tube

Today I feel sort of confused. That's my state of mind. The reason is that I don't thoroughly believe in myself. I find so many obstacles that I can't seemingly overcome. I feel like redundant trush. I feel powerless. It's a terrible feeling. Actually I have no idea why I evaluate myself in such a way. The answer is that I simply got used to it. This is a habitual mechanism that I can't overcome. Besides I think what people will say about my failures. In this way I make a problem look bigger that it actually is. I forgot to tell you about the whole situation. It's all about giving private lessons to people. I have such a fear that I'll fail and nothing will come out it. Please raise my spirits.
The first step to rise my spirits is the picture of the boy in the tube. It's so joyful that I wonder why I find the activity so depressing. Actually it's smaller than the other drawings. The colours make you feel active and optimistic about life. Besides I have to praise myself for drawing a child properly. That's a big advantage. There are so many things that I can praise myself for. It's hard to enumerate them.
Now I came to the conclusion that there is nothing to punish myself for. And I should take from life everything what it gives me and be more courageous. That's it. There is nothing to be afraid of. Besides if I fail I will know why. Now I'm in sort of vacumm and fear to come out of it. The only person to help me is myself .
I have to tell you that such flow of speach helps a lot to purify my spirits and release tension. Thanks a lot for your attention. Bye untill tomarrow.

A hidden face

The photo I titled a hidden face. The picture is very simple though the outcome is stunning. I especially like the calming shades of the brown colour. I got the idea of drawing it from the mission leaflet. Sometimes I read such publications. As a result you can see that simple shapes and colours can create a kind of climate which is remarkable and outstanding. Thanks to this I often look through the leaflets having an interesting drawing on my mind. This is my aim and sometimes I happen to find something beautiful which can interest you .
Today I saw many sunning and fascinating photos of National Geographic magazine. When you look through it you find out that you are not the hub of the univers and there are people just like you who have different problems which are as importantas yours. When you feel depressed or confused you can see that the earth is so beautiful that your "bugs"are nothing in comparison with the problems of the world. By the way I still hope that there is someone reading my notes. Hello.
One more thing I forgot. I'd like to create a different blog with my thoughts or it's going to be the same . I don't know which one. Where I can create my new world with my thoughts. At least I hope I 'll like it as much as you do.

Suckling baby

Here I want to show you the portrait of the suckling baby. It is sweet and familiar somehow to you. It depicts motherhood in its full bloom. I'd like to praise myself for showing the picture in detail. I didn't omit anything. By means of such pictures you can point at the beauty of Africa as well as any other country. The most intimate beauty . Today I feel sort of detached. I'd like to find a profitable job and don't have the courage to do so. I have such low esteem. Mabe you can help me somehow by looking through my post and posting some your judgement on them. I will be very gratefull for that. I feel downhearted. Thanks for your attention. Bye.

Himba bust

Long time no see I should say. I has been quite a long time since I last created a new post. Many things happened along the way. Many thoughts went through my mind. First, I became fascinated by the Himba tribe in central Africa. Thay are famous for their special way of taking care of oneself. Ohre is a cosmetic they use to make oneself attractive to the other sex. It really works and the outcome is marvellous. Their bodies are smooth and moistured. Himba live in central Africa as I said before. They are not very rich, though they have interesing culture and this is what attracts me a lot to them.

Child in the bathtub

Hello, today my last but not least drawing from the set- the child in the bathtub. Unfortunately it is blurred (probably thanks to the cardboard). I don't feel like criticizing myself all over again. That's why I'll stop here not to 'contaminate" you with my remarks and sorrows. That's it more or less, bye.

Woman in a swimsuit

Today I present to you a picture done in ink and pastel. Luckily I found a photo in a shop leaflet and it attracted my attention straight away. On the basis of this I decided to prepare a drawing. I regret not shading black too much because it would give the feeling of depth. However, I particularly like the background which is like a bit of honey. Maybe somebody may say that my work is of no importance, but I would say that it means a lot to me and it is joy and pleasure. It worries me that I have to devote much work in order to attract viwers to my site on flickr for example (by the way they are particularly in favour of nudes) but that's life and I don't do this for admiration but for self development. That's it more or less. Have a good time. Ela

Woman doing her make up

Today is special because I 've made some contacts with people and it made me feel happy about it. (It's strange because I used to think of myself as a solitaire). As far as my drawing is concerned I'm fascinated by make up and its presence in other cultures. It makes the woman as well as the man more desirable to the members of the opposite sex. I think of creating a set of pictures presenting different types of make up but I have to think it over. Here is a typical woman toying with her make up. Its interesting and in general you can always find something curious about a painting. That's it. Thanks for devoting your time, bye.

Woman in a black hat

This picture is done in black ink and pastel. Though it is decent, it shows a nice gesture which is seductive and it makes you think that the woman is about to undress. In general (as many photographers may admit) there are acts which are seductive and perversive not necessarily showing the nakedness. And I like them most. Here is a posture which is nice. I know it's strange but I can't find words to express what I really feel about this drawing. Maybe next time. Bye

Tear

Sometimes I long for words to express exactly what I want to say. Maybe it because I still crawl in English. This picture I called "tear". It shows the study of face and to me it is beautiful. It's done in ink and pastel. Though it looks like a big one , the picture is actually quite small. That's it more or less. Enjoy looking, Ela.

Woman clad in a peacock feather

Here I present a drawing which is luxurious in a way. The woman is naked and clad in a peacock feather only. Her face is additionally adorned in a beautiful make up. I like it. What do you think?

Nude4

As you know I relish the human body. Its curves and shapes. Sometimes a simple gesture can contribute to a beautiful nude act. As simple gesture as this one above. I'm privileged in a way that I own my own camera at last. Thanks to this invention I can take photos of whatever I like and frankly speaking I adore it. I feel sort of sad and disappointed that noone visits my blog but a blog is a kind of diary and what I do I do for myself only. Have a nice watching, Ela

Nude3

Basically I don't want to write about my drawing. It's nice, I mean the body, however the background is unsatisfactory. Maybe the cardboard is to blame for this. Its rough surface prevented me from applying even shades. I like each of my drawings, each of them change something and introduces something new. That's it more or less, Ela.

Nude2

I've always imagined that to each post should be attached a sensible comment. In my opinion it was obligatory, but when I went through some blogs (no matter which ones because it's not of importance now) I saw that people played with their photos and comments. It turned out that it cannot necessarily be so that each day I have a hunch for comment. So I decided to stick to this unwritten rule and don't bother writing very long and pointless notes. Have a nice day, Ela.

Dalia7

Here is one of my amazing mandalas. Frankly speaking I don't know what comments to add. Maybe it's up to you how you perceive it. Let me know about it. Ela

Dalia6

You may feel kind of bored but I still feel like tormenting you with my abundant set of dahlias. I mentioned already that they are like living mandalas and provide energy with anyone. More than that, they are quite large and their energy radiates everywhere. I'm sort of confused that there are no comments on my blog and I think over an idea to extend it's main subject and add something additional for example books and my opinions on them. I'm afraid that it will be messy in a way, but I found out that blogs are like great diaries and people insert almost everything on them so why not to try. I'll see what I can do and will do my best to make the blog more interesting.

Dalia5

I achieved a great success drawing a big set of dahlias. I'm proud of it actually. In this way I learned how to differentiate them. Sometimes you can see a flicking light somewhere. This is because hair spray makes it look like it. I forgot to say that basically this is my new set of drawings after an interval lasting about 1 month or so. This is it more or less. This blog is a kind of cronicle but not of feelings but of my little achievements presented here. If you like it, let me know. Have a nice day, Ela.

A bunch of sunflowers

I have to admit something. Some time ago I received a commission from I would say a relative. Unfortunately, the commission was for sunflowers but it wasn't stated exactly how they would be arranged or how many of them should be on the drawing. Frankly speaking I copied them from the above picture. In my opinion they were the most successful. I didn't fetch the drawing yet. My big drawback is thinking over what would be the price. It's useless , because you're gonna get less or more than that. Usually you would get less and there's a big disappointment after that. More or less that's it. I wonder if you also like the drawing. Let me know, Ela.

One of the nude acts

Here is something typical from an advertisement. Sometimes I think it is necessary to draw something not so difficult in order to practise drawing itself. Often I choose easy subjects to learn without waiting for spectacular results. Just for learning and here is an example of such a drawing. I'm not so proud of it, though I think it helped me to achieve better results as far as drawing is concerned. Additionally, I'm proud of " the successful applying of shades". That's it. If you like it, let me know, Ela.

Beyonce sketch

This drawing is sort of cheesy-like. I don't know why I chose such a person to portray. It was sort of coincidence. My aim was to show the beauty and texture of the material, however it is not as impressive as it is. Maybe the reason is that red is hard to shade. It is striking and that's it more or less. I sometimes wonder why I insert my failure drawings on my blog. And the reason is that you can draw some conclusions from my mistakes. Besides, I strongly dislike criticizing oneself on the blog, for taking wrong photos and other staff. And here I want to praize myself at least for having the pleasure of drawing and aims to do that. There are lots of people who either can't or can't afford this. You who are watching and maybe reading my blog - have a nice time, bye.

Woman leaning over an armchair

This nude act is very sensible, feminin. The woman is leaning over an armchair. Basicly nothing is shown, nothing perversive. Thus I would call this nude decent in a way. Of course as you see this nude is in pencil. Interestingly enough, the paper is not white but done in white ink. I tried so hard to cover all the surface in white that I used almost all the bottle. Otherwise it wouldn't be possible to draw with a pencil. Personally, I find nude acts on the armchair very luxurious. Women embellished in pearls or other juwellery are very attractive and make you feel that such an act is liberating in a way for them. I must tell you that I've had some unpleasant experiences and I'm sort of seduced to reveal them to you but I won't tell you. You have to forgive me. See you next time, Ela.

Nude1

When I look through the blog I come to the conclusion that it's getting sort of sad. Of course I'm to be blamed for that kind of stuff. That's why I'm going to change it a little bit. By adding i.e. my musings which I so tremendously detested. What you have seen above are flowers and here is a nude act. It's nice though it is not excellent. I like the body curves and the fact that it is not obscene and pevert but shows the beauty of the human body. Actually, it was on a chemist's leaflet. I think that I'm getting more and more prone to stick to nudes and the study of the body.What I like is mainly pregnancy and little children. I found a picture postcard in a news agent stand. I showed a newborn baby in his mother's palms. It was so nice that I feel like buying it and you can wait for it eagerly. That's it for now. Have a nice day, Ela.

Dalia4

You know what? I don't feel like commenting today. That's why I leave you all alone contemplating my ART.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

Dalia3

When I think of what to tell you about nothing is on my mind, nothing curious or creative. Everything I'd like to say is the picture itself, the circumstances of its creation. Here you see one of my dalias. This one is spectacular with my favourite purple. I suppose you didn't realize that brown is also part in this picture. As you know what I like most is a set of colours which is vibrating and full of life. Have a nice watching, Ela.

Dalia2

As you know this is one of "my" dalias. They are vibrating and don't look like typical flowers but a source of energy. I decided not to insert any internal musings on the blog. Today I feel sort of empty and nothing comes to my mind that's why I'll be lazy and leave it just like it is. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

Dalia1

I informed you already that I did some drawings of dalias. They are greatful flowers which have something majestic in themselves and are the real treasure of the garden. What I tried to present was a kind of focus on them. That type of look makes them more seductive and interesting at the same time. Besides what I had on my mind was to give a try of my new pastels which have the remarkable selection of yellows. The colour which to you is actually white in fact is bright yellow. One more reason of taking to dalias was that they convey a certain kind of energy which is perceptible at least by me. They are like living madalas. Though I stop myself drawing that kind of stuff, I relish dalias which to me are the great source of radiant energy.

I hope you like it. If you have any comments on it, leave your remarks or write an email. The link is on the upper strap of the blog.

Have a nice day, Ela.

"Black lilies"

Hi. Long time no see. I'm ready with my new drawings on display. This time I didn't deal with the body and skin, but didn't feel like drawing at all and took up drawing mechanically (almost )flowers. In this way I created a collection of dalias and other stuff like above. Their advantage is the size. I told you that I find it most appealing. I have so many thoughts on my mind that I can hardly describe. They are quite depressing that's why I'm not going to bore you to death. I think that it would be better to talk about art instead of dronning on about my musings. That would be fun. Besides I found an interesting art link with the biggest collection of art I ever seen. If you would like to check it out go to www.allpaintings.org. There you can find amazing paintings which are categorized. Have a nice watching. Bye for now, Ela.

"In a spa"

This picture I called:"In a spa"'cause it was done from a paper about Egipt and its tourist offers. I like it , because it shows the human body in an interesting way. In general, I'm fond of interesting view on the body, i.e. from above, from the side, etc. Here there is the woman on the bed undergoing a theraphy.

For I like mentioning new films which I saw, now I'd like to recommend to you the film: "Stand and deliver". As you suppose it's not about a shop assistant but about a math teacher who managed to teach advanced math to lazybones. The scenery is an American school with a Spanish minority, teenagers without a future and a math teacher who devotes everything to help the youngsters in their education and the future university admission. First of all ,I like the film because it's connected with my proffesion, that's why maybe I find it appealing. I saw the film a thousand times and each time I perceive it different. Each time I ask myself a question how to teach to be successful. In my opinion 2 things decide about you being a successful teacher. First a great deal of knowledge and the efficient way of passing on that knowledge to the others. That's a success. Maybe it's not an action movie, or a romantic one but it shows that no one should be set aside or rejected like it was in the case of that Spanish minority. Everyone should be given a chance to change for the better. That second chance is needed and maybe more important that the first one.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Showing her bare back"

Recently, I've lacked words to express myself. Here you have a nude act. In general , all my new drawings are devoted to the body . For about a month I have been practising this theme. It's quite a tricky task. I'm a begginer as far as that topic is concerned. I hope you like it.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Pregnancy"

I must tell you one thing: I'm fond of pregnancy and fertility. Maybe it's because I've never been pregnant. In general, this state is so beautiful spiritually and phisically. It's like a meditation, bearing a new life inside. That's a big secret. I like photos which show pregnancy in a pretty way, not in beautiful dresses, but naturally. Here I managed to depict pregnancy as naturally as it can be. I think it shows the beauty of pregnancy at the same time hiding the "strategic places". Now I must be going. Have a nice watching, bye

"A female sitting on the desk"

Hi, today I feel such a void, though I'm gonna add some comment to this drawing. I won't tell you I don't like it, but what bugs me is that the parts of the body are underlined to much which makes the picture less natural. The picture is bigger than the photo , her limbs are a bit cut off in the photo. According to my mum the woman looks too old, for me it's ok.

I'll come back to the film "Eat, pray, love"with Julia Roberts. There, her mentor teaches her how to meditate. It doesn't mean I ask you to meditate, the point is that he offers a different type of meditation. He says:" When you meditate, always smile with your mind and with your liver." I tried to do it yesterday and I tell you it is such a relief. It helps you to accept all the things you rejected. It applies to me.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Pearls on the satin"

I think I'll leave this post without a comment.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Despair"

Today I feel sort of confused and disappointed. Something tells me that what I'm doing is wrong. I try to question it. I fight with these thoughts, but will I ever succede? Here the drawing presents my state of mind. Despair it is called. Sometimes I think my drawings are only sketches, preparation for something bigger, more valuble. It's more learning than creating something of importance. My last but not least set is devoted to the body with some exeptions. You can find it out on Flickr.

Let me remind you of the film "Eat, pray, love"where J. Roberts is starring. I remember a scene from the film where the heroine is sitting in an old temple and says to herself: "We are unhappy, because we are afraid to change the state we are in."Certainly it's true. This thought turns my life upside down. It is not peaceful but rebellious. It urges you to do something to realise from your shackles. In the begining you feel strong but then you come back to where you were. That's a trap. Now I'm in doubt. I think over my life and you know what. Either I'm powerless or completly unable to move on. I feel paralised, but this film gives me hope that one day I'll deside one something crazy in a positive sense and finally see that it was so easy to change my life though then I felt rigid, unable of any move. I know that maybe it is sort of boring to you but I've heard that if God closes the door for you , He opens a window. I must look for it necessarily.

Have a nice day, Ela.

"Lying in bed"

I feel such a brain wave today to lay my words on paper, 'cause I consider them impotant. First, I start with my new drawing which seemingly doesn't look outstanding. The woman is lying in bed, apparently smiling. The picture gained the least votes on Flickr which sort of let me down but each drawing teaches you someting, each has an impact on your overall inheritance. Each is meaningful, though it doesn't look like it. If you see it as precious, it will be precious to you no matter what others think of it. I'll come back to the film "Eat, pray, love" which I told you about last time. I remember a curious scene in the film where the heroine meets her guru on Bali and he tells her the following thing: "Always stand on the ground as if you had two pairs of legs and judge everything by your heart not by your mind.' This maxime is worth remembering. If something doesn't come out, judge it by your heart and remember that it was a small but meaningful step to excellence. It applies to art as well as life. That's it . I hope you enjoy it. Bye.

"Study of hands on the knees"

This is the most feminin picture of this set. The hands are stunning. Additionaly, the ring provides a new meaning to the work. I'm simply proud of it and if you ask me which picture I would sell most eagerly it would certainly be this one. Besides, the colours seem a bit darker.

When I think of this photo and the film of which it could be an advertisement it would certainly be "Eat, pray and love" based on the novel by E. Gilbert. I saw that film yesterday and again draw helpful conclusions. The heroine of the film J. Roberts desides to set out on a journey of her lifetime. Everyone says it's stupid, she must be out of her mind, though she remains persistent and the story of the film is actually the story of her journey.

I won't tell you the content of the film I only want to let you know that if you feel that you should do something, or follow the path nobody walked before, or meet someone everyone is against, just do it and don't listen to anyone's advice, be intuitive. That's my conclusion from the film.

It is my remark as long as my "art" is concerned. I should follow that path, even when everyone tells me it's a cul-de-sac. That is my gut feeling that it is the right way. And maybe I will help you somehow, when you have some doubts. I recommend the film to those who like J. Roberts and her play, beautiful sights of Italy and philosophy present in the movie.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Balet slippers"

Remember, I told you last time about luxury and everything that is connected with it. Ballet slippers to me are attributes of toil, passion, hard work and the above term. To me they have only positive connotations. First of all they represent feminity. They are pink however the pink is not unified but its shades are numerous and it provides a 3 dimensional shape of the ballet slippers.

By the way pink is often ascribed to women and many times chosen by them as their favourite colour.

Unfortunately, I started writing this post and due to omisson I forgot to press the correct button and everything was lost. Recently, I've been a great fan of films and everything I watch I try to explain in artistic terms. Yesterday I saw The film "A touch of love" with M. Sorvino and V. Kilmer. There is lots of things to talk about this film however I want to focus on art which is somehow present in it. The film is based on a real story. The man V. Kilmer is blind and meets a young , female architect M. Sorvino. They fall in love and live with each other. He decides on an operation of his eyes. He undergoes it, recovers his eyesight but not for long. In the end we find out that the man though blind starts painting his impressions as a heathy man. The same is with M. Sorvino who marries him and also starts dealing with art.

What is my conclusion from this film is that art has healing properties but not straightforward. It let you be yourself no matter what value it has got in other people's eyes. It is a kind of theraphy for you and for those around you. It cannot be done for profits only. The aim of art is self-creation and self -expression. That what is all about.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Red hair covering her breasts"

It's hard to admit that I was drawing this picture from "Playboy". I've always thought that it is a magazine for men, however sometimes you can find inspiring nude acts there. (By the way what is wrong with flicking through a men's magazine?) The one here was in fact selected as one of the most representative. I like it for naturality, feminity and modesty. From the time I started drawing nudes , I pay attention to natural beauty with normal size breasts, where a figure is more hidden than it is shown with her intimate parts. On that basis I chose the above picture to work on. I've always had problems with drawing hair and here they are well depicted.

It's not that I immerse myself in pornography, cause it looks like it. The point is that I don't have any models and all is left for me is looking for photos in "special papers".

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Female with a calla"

I came to the conclusion that each post I begin in a strange way. There is no proper introduction, I change topics too quckly, so now I'd like to sort of change my attitude and say a few things more.

Colours-how important they are in art , in the life of an artist. I found out that each artist has his own unique palette which is eather changeble during his lifetime (for example he has his green or blue periods) or the palette remains constant for example Frida Cahlo was using striking, bold colours which were sort of typical of her Mexican culture. Historians then decide which period was the most fruitful, however your opinion can be outrageously different.

I'm sort of interested in art but not in a very serious way. I'm looking for outstanding artists, rather contemporary, not professionals. Recently, I've been searching paintings according to one thema: luxury. It attracts me and it doesn't necessarily mean gold and golden china, money and so on. Luxury for me is callas, a glass of wine, apples, well painted still lifes, a hat, a high-heeled shoe.Those things make a picture look abundant and rich. The person who introduced me to that topic was T. Lempicka, I'd say she overexaggerated the idea. I like her still lifes with china plates ornamented in gold, apples or pearls. She was especially fond of callas and here I pay homage to her with my modest drawing. The woman is holding the calla. For me it is a substitute of luxury.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Rest"

I'm simply pondering how to start today's post. To make it wise and illuminating. Frankly speaking, nothing comes to mind, nothing constructive. Above you see the nude act which I would call a luxury one. I like the colours which are pastel-like and the body which looks like it. However, the face didn't turn out well. The eye is too big which makes the figure look terrified.

Lately, I've beeen paying attention to hands and here they are correct.( I 've done a few drawings with hands as the main topic. You can see it on Flickr. I consider them very feminine.) I would call this nude bold, I was even afraid to put it on Flickr. All in all, nobody has got rid of me yet so it's allright.

I'm thinking about a new film and how to talk about it, but I'll stop right here. Today it's not the right time to develop the idea.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Rest"

Recently, I've felt a hunch for writing. It is so strong that I have an ambition to be a professional writer. Maybe it is because during that break many thoughts accumulated in my mind. Still I'm thinking about art and try to find a reason to keep on doing it. That is my aim and each program or broadcast I listen to, I try to figure out something important about art, what will help me in the future. I cannot necessarily be art as paintings but it can be art as literature, poetry.

Therefore I watched a program with Cz. Milosz a well known poet and an American lecturer (by the way he is one of Polish Nobel prize-winners). It was a soiree with his students and the question was asked: 'What advice would you give to young poets?' And he said: "Never try to be appropriate." That thought stuck me. I connected it with any kind of artist. Never try to be appropriate. Often they say the artist should paint something what is sold well, but then a question arises :What will happen if tendencies will change? What will happen with such artists like Gauguin for example painted still lifes and never went to Haiti? "Be yourself" that was one of the last words of Cz. Milosz. This maxime I make a rule of thumb. But how hard is to stay the way you are when the world is shouting and screaming and nothing is going on around you. All you can do then is to stay optimistic and believe in your luck.

Above you can see one of my first nudes in pencil. It is as imperfect as it could be but it's mine.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Pariah"

I'd like to start from the description of the drawing. In fact it is done on A3 size of paper, so it's quite small. It depicts a small boy who is doing two things: either he is laughing or drinking water in his palms. I did the drawing from a calendar about children. It reminds me of an Indian child therefore I called it "Pariah". The colours are warm, sunny, suntanned.

Now, about a film which I saw yesterday. I was waiting for it quite a long time. The title is "Paradise Found" and it is about the life of Gauguin. What I like about such films is that they show the figure of the painter himself and their scenery is connected somehow with the artist's paintings (I mean the colours). You can see a good example of it in the film "Frida" produced by S. Hayek who is also starring in it. What captured my attention was that Gauguin was not understood by the people of his epoch. They laughed him off, picking on his 'pink dogs", striking and ripe colours. He was thrown away by his wife who called him "amatour". Only he knew what his aim was. What is curious about Gauguin is that he gave up his prosperous job on the Stock Exchange to follow his vague and blurry impression, something he knew, won't give him any profits (at least in the beginning). What leads him in his journey throughout his lifetime was the words of Pissaro- his friend and one of his teachers: "You have a talent". In the film the person of Pissaro impacts Gauguin a lot and his words sink in my mind. Here are they:

"Whatever you do, never give up",

"If an artist has a vision and struggles to achieve it, he will finally achieve a success."

"The artist changes the universe with his art."

His words bring consolation to those who experience failure too many times, though they keep on trying. After the film I was envigorating. I realized that no matter what people say about you work, it's important to be though, and stubborn in reaching your goal. In reality, if people see a success they will start praising you for what you are doing.

Have a nice watching, Ela.

"Motherhood"

Hi again. It was quite a long time since I was on my blog. Many thoughts ran through my mind during that time. I didn't stop creating , though I have still no buyers for my "art". Art is a big, huge, I would say, word for the thing I'm doing. Sometimes I ponder I don't deserve this kind of special word. However, it doesn't mean what other people call your art. It's up to you what you call it. All in all, most of artists where unknown as long as they stayed alive. What raises my spirits is what Gauguin said: You have your graver given by your fate and you have to work as hard as you can in order to achieve something. (It's not the exact quotation.) In the case of an artist is his or her works.

I gave a lot of thinking to Gauguin or Van Gogh. Both of them were not professionals but art was their passion, something they couln't live without. They were constantly on the go as long as their art is concerned. They were searching and delving into the topic. They have their own style, unique. Sometimes they created works in a childlike manner, not like classic painters. Recently, I've read a shot introduction to Van Gogh's paintings. What astounded and consolled me was the fact that Vincent didn't reveal any special talents for painting when he attended certain artistic schools. The same is with me, I hardly have any skills while in public, I prefer to deal with art on my own, away from critics and their criticque.

I think that what art is all about is that it lets you be yourself, express yourself, let you be free in a way. It appeals to me strongly. I love freedom.

Today I present a picture, an old one showing motherhood. From some time I'm fascinated by that idea, especially pregnancy.

Have a nice watching, Ela.